Policy on Gambling

If gambling is legal, then there will inevitably be “problem gamblers”, who lose their money and their family’s money. One approach to this is to have “problem gamblers” declared mentally incompetent and appoint the Public Trustee to manage their finances. The other approach is to ban gambling. Considering that Australia is a Christian country, that gambling is forbidden by Christianity, and that gambling has historically been illegal in Australia, that is the approach we will take.

If we are elected, the only legal gambling in Australia will be betting on horses and buying lottery tickets. This will be a government monopoly. Casinos, poker machines, betting on card games, raffles, Two-Up, Bingo, and all other forms of gambling will once again be banned. Some might see it as unreasonable that they and their mates can’t play cards for money. While they won’t be able to play cards with their mates for money or make love to their mates, they will be able to play rugby with their mates and drink beer with them, which the Labor Party intends to ban on the grounds that rugby causes spinal problems and drinking beer causes car accidents. (Actually, rugby is safe as long as you pass the ball before you’re tackled.)